1) is by that old fart Rod Stewart.....lol....it can often be heard coming out of rough Glagow pubs as kareoke.........lol
2) might be from Radioheads Creep...........that's what comes to mind when i hear those lyrics..........
New song "This Old Fart" to the tune of "This Old Man"
This old fart, tied his shoe"
Fell head first into the lu.
With a plunk,plunk, spirt, spirt,
give the man a towel
His face looks alot like Simon Cowel'sl